To see me comment on life & dating...

Go to the eharmony site & look for posts by Lyssa...

I've gotten a bit vociferous lately. I get peeved when I see that the non-moral non-majority try to win by blowing hot air up my skirts... just doesn't work with me... as they are discovering... poor babies, they would not know a logical argument if it slapped them in the face.


Ah, I'm getting less tolerant as the years go by. I refuse to be silenced by those who think that they alone have God's mandate.. nor do I allow them the pleasure of seeing me quail before them.

I find I'm getting some admirers there, I've received notes from folks who think I'm the coolest thing since sliced white bread. Smile.... it's nice to be appreciated.

Trains and beating the gas crunch

Recently I took the train up to Seattle & back. A great experience, a little tough on the back but less of a problem than I expected.

And a hell of a lot less expensive than a flight or driving...

$180 for a Shuttle Express van from Portland to Seattle
$159 for an Alaskan flight round trip (just 2 hours each way)
$90 for business class Cascades Amtrak train
$60 for regular Amtrak Coach fare...

So any way you look at it, it's a great way to beat the high cost of gas & the frustrations of traffic avoidance (we hates rush hour we does)

having a car is convenient yes, but you can rent for less than the cost of the flight while you are there, though with Sound Transit improving regularly it makes green sense to just stick to bio fuels & trains...

I may do the business class next time, I like the sound of a table to work at while I commute.

Imagine, getting to eat & drink without having to watch the road or be strip searched at the airport...

My glorious girls

My neice Wendy has such wonderful daughters.. ya I know I'm biased.. it's my blog so cope!

Miss Kerrigan (to my left) & Miss Morgan (to my right) are blessings to my life. Wendy does great baby manufacture & fantastic face painting. So I've included a link to her website so you can see more of what she has available.

The girls, be they spiders or fishes, are a wonder. They are still in California, but I think of them often, missing them daily. But they are where they need to be & I can't afford California prices so I'm here.

Though I think I'll check out the price of a train ticket to go visit sometime this year.

Mamma Mia!

I want to see this movie. It makes me think of Jeff - one of his favorite bands was Abba. They ranked right up with Uncle Bonsai...

The 70's were a good decade.. a time we should remember. In our innocence we did many foolish things, and yes back then a lot of us sang out loud for the world to hear.

When did we become ashamed of our voices? Of letting the world hear our songs?

Signing up to support a political candidate

I know, a horrifying concept for a Libertarian, but this time out of the box, I need to speak up. I can't stand the concept of another Mr Bush in the white house.

So I'm going for Hillary!! She has fought on the issues that are important to me for nearly 20 years... better healthcare, positive action plans on how to turn the economy around, bail out for Social Security and supporting our troops world wide.

All things I can believe in. If you bring up race, I'll raise you & throw in gender. If you bring up experience I'll point out that she sleeps with one of the best experience sources still vital & active politically. If you bring up age I'll point to Mr. McCain & shudder.

Then I'll point to actually voting & not just waffling by signing in as present.

She may not be the most incredible choice, but she sure is the most credible choice.

Whomever you decide to vote for, remember that as my daddy used to say, if you don't vote you have no right to comment i.e., bitch about our government. So stand up & be counted.

Something new

Well, for me this is unusual.. I finally joined a fan club. Mr. Bond, James Bond, himself Pierce Brosnan. Always a favorite of mine. A man of ideals & values, check out the activist section of his homepage if you don't know about that part of him. Someone I admire, who is actively using his place in life to try to make a better world.

What a relief from spoiled stars, who give nothing back.

A hero for our generation, we need more of these..

the odd things we do

I've joined eHarmony, trying to get out in the dating world again.

It is an odd feeling, very like being exposed while uncertain if your appearance is tidy...

I want to ask if their lips are warm.... wanting to hear a heart beat if I snuggle with them. They don't get it & I don't know how to explain...

Just another day in being a widow of the web....

a bad night

I'm lonely tonight. Missing my husband a lot. I know, I know, after 4.5 years shouldn't I be past this... sorry that is a no go. I think of him, remember him, want to turn and share a joke with him daily. Sometimes I relive the night I lost him. Goddess what a horrible night that was, I remember it in fragments, us saying I love you, reaching out to hold hands because he hurt to much to cuddle up close to, listening to the cpap machine regulating his breathing, drifting off. Coming awake because the cpap sounds funny, nudging him to get him to adjust the mask. And him not responding. That utter quiet. The nightmare quality when I turned on the lights & realized that it wasn't saran wrap on his face, it was his dried out contact lens stuck to his eye... shiver... yelling, screaming, crying, trying to give him cpr while I was trying to call 911

Begging him not to leave me, to come back, to take a breath... the pounding at the door, the emt's taking over.. Trying to calm down and make phone calls to the right people. The pain & then the mind numbing shock. More people arriving, asking my friend Maura if she would give Jeff Wiccan death rites, no one wanted me to go out in the living room where they had moved him to. Me insisting on going out & kissing him good by before they took him away.

Fritz, Kyra, Chuck & Maura helping corral the cats, pack my bags & making sure the right calls were completed. Fritz & Kyra taking me away. Fritz sedating me, holding me while I cried. A night of shimmering agony...

Being woken the next day by Willow to get me to eat & drink something, anything. Goddess what a wretched, wretched feeling, wanting to be dead with him then deciding I couldn't go because then there would be no one to take care of the cats. Choosing to live as long as the cats needed me.

I'm still not sure I will survive the cats, ya know.....

Name changes??

When I married, I discovered that my sister-in-law & I had EXACTLY the same name. Same middle name, same spelling, everything. When Jeff was alive he didn't want me to change my name. But he's gone & I'm thinking about it.

I don't want to get rid of Stone, I'm proud to wear his name, proud to be his wife. But I was thinking of adding another middle name & start going by that. This way I could honor my godparents & my parents intentions but hopefully unentangle my files from my sister in law.

Basically, I'm thinking of adding Lyssa to the Lynn in my middle name. What do you think? Have you ever wanted to change your name? Women go thru life accepting name change as a fact of life, is this any different?

Lyssa

Never really done this before...

Ok, so I'm nervous, this is like a first date.

Hello world, welcome to my dreams.

I've read other friends blogs for years, offered social commentary even. But have never opened myself up to the other side of the process.

It is time I tried. So here is my first swing on the trapeze of blogging...

Feels a lot like that first dance on my wedding day did... dizzy, happy & full of hope..